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Journal of Film & Video review

Reviewed by  Laura  Vazquez
Northern  Illinois  University

Lost  Child?  Wherever  You  Are  Is  Where  Here  Is  Directed  by  Gregory  F.  Ruzzin  University  Film  and  Video Association  Conference,  Champlain  College,  August  2010.

Frequently,  first-­person  documentaries  about  one’s  family  focus  so  narrowly  on  intrafamilial dynamics  that  there  is  little  room  to  explicate  the  larger  issues  at  play  within  and  without  the  family structure.  On  the  other  hand,  social-­issue  films  often  struggle  to  find  a  personal  way  to  explore  what is  at  stake  and  thus  fail  to  offer  the  audience  a  way  to  feel  what  is  happening  while  also  intellectually grasping  the  larger  issues.  Ruzzin’s  film  Lost  Child?  about  his  sister  Alyssa  manages—rather amazingly—to  tread  this  line  between  family,  personal  feeling,  and  social  issue  so  adroitly  that  we can  feel  for  his  subject’s  struggle  while  understanding  the  challenges  she  faces  within  the  family  and within  society  at  large.  The  filmmaker  reveals  his  sister’s  personality  and  their  affection  for  one another  as  they  explore  and  expose  the  way  society  addresses  (and/or  ignores)  people  who  are considered  “different”  from  some  idealized  norm.  Alyssa’s  self-­conscious  engagement  with  what  is variously  called  a  learning  disability,  a  learning  disorder,  and  a  learning  struggle  is  revealed  gently and  gradually  throughout  the  film.  It  is  never  didactically  thrust  upon  the  audience,  and  I  found myself  as  uncomfortable  with  the  language  as  the  interviewees  themselves.  What  do  we  call  Alyssa and  people  like  her  who  are  somewhat  different  from  ourselves?  How  do  we  address  their  differences so  as  not  to  insult  them?  It  is  clear  that  many  thoughtless  individuals  (many  of  whom  were  children) hurt  Alyssa  by  using  derogatory  language  about  her  that  caused  her  to  withdraw  from  activities  and from  their  presence.  Ruzzin’s  film  reveals  the  perhaps  unintentional  emotional  and  psychological scars  that  our  misuse  of  language  can  leave  on  people  like  Alyssa.  Ruzzin  reminds  us  in  the  end that  Alyssa  is  a  person  first  and  that  respect  for  her  is  more  important  than  what  we  say  about  how or  what  she  learns.

Ruzzin  wisely  avoids  adding  the  familial  backstory  until  later  in  the  film,  that  is,  until  we  are  firmly aware  of  Alyssa  as  an  adult  individual.  It  is  only  then  that  her  mother  and  father  are  introduced, revealing  the  physiological  issues  and  events  of  Alyssa’s  childhood  struggles  with  school  and medications.  It  is  clear  that  Alyssa  is  present  at  these  interviews.  In  fact  Ruzzin  carefully  reveals  an intentional  transparency  throughout  the  film.  Alyssa  clearly  understands  that  her  mother  and  father will  see  (and  hear)  her  version  of  her  story.  We  never  feel  that  there  is  any  question  of  the filmmaker’s  ethics  in  this  regard,  and  Ruzzin’s  sensitivity  to  his  sister  (despite  the  scene  of  the messy  clothes  in  the  bedroom,  which  is  playfully  included)  is  apparent  throughout.  Ruzzin  also includes  Alyssa’s  agitation  with  him  (her  brother)  during  the  process,  a  further  testament  to  the filmmaker’s  attention  to  transparency.

Alyssa’s  strength  and  determination  are  awe-­inspiring,  and  Ruzzin  manages  to  convey  his  respect for  her  and  for  how  she  manages  her  life.  By  the  end  of  the  film,  I  realized  that  I  have  become  fond of  Alyssa  and  her  quirky  sense  of  humor  and  that  I  admire  her  personal  philosophy.  Of  course,  like any  good  storyteller,  Ruzzin  leaves  the  powerful  story  of  Alyssa’s  abusive  sexual  encounter  to  the end  of  the  film.  I  can  only  imagine  how  painful  that  moment  must  have  been  for  both  the  brother  and the  sister  to  share  so  honestly  on  camera.  Neither  shies  from  his  or  her  true  feelings,  and  we  hear Ruzzin  encouraging  Alyssa  to  consider  the  possibility  of  healing  even  this  transgression  against  her body  and  soul,  for  her  own  sake.

It  is  difficult  to  overestimate  this  film’s  importance  with  regard  to  the  educational  and  social  issues with  which  it  engages.  We  as  a  society  need  to  be  reminded  of  what  others  who  are  not  like  us  may go  through  in  their  3,000  steps  in  life  to  get  from  one  place  to  another—steps  we  frequently  take  for granted.  Ruzzin  has  created  a  film  that  addresses  major  issues  in  terms  of  special  education  and what  it  can  mean  to  people  like  Alyssa  who  struggle  to  learn  the  same  way  that  our  educational system  has  adopted  for  the  majority  of  students.  I  applaud  Ruzzin  for  both  his  artistry  and  his bravery.  His  respect  and  love  for  his  sister  are  apparent  in  every  frame.  I  take  my  hat  off  to  Alyssa, who  generously  gave  of  herself  to  this  film  in  the  hope  that  she  could  help  and  inspire  others  like  her. I  am  confident  that  she  will.  Ruzzin’s  film  will  ensure  a  broad  dissemination  of  her  message  that despite  whatever  difficulties  you  may  face,  it  is  up  to  you  to  move  ahead.




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